Old Friendship

It was like a week now. I met an old bestie again from facebook. I almost forgot everything and anything about her till she leaves me messages in my inbox. I couldn’t recognize her at first because she uses a picture with texts as her profile image. She is my 9 years ago of friendship, and it last like almost 4 years of a good time, then things happen  before I forget all about her.  

          She was the first friend that makes me believe that there are “best friend” that ever exist. I was too afraid of become too close with anyone before because I always believed that I couldn’t have a good friend as a best friend. I think I ever believed one before but she doesn’t seem to choose me as one. That was my childhood background. I ended up with her other friend calling me in the phone saying that my ‘best friend’ doesn’t want me to be friends with her anymore. I’m trying to be closed with her again at this adult age but then, she end up blocking me and ignoring me from the her account. I guess I found her nonsense than before and she thinks I am annoying. Next, I been closed to a bunch of friends but none of them are giving me a good time ever. They’re too trendy with girly friends and they always go out on weekends to hang out with those chicks, I sensed that I’m really alone with them so I moved on.  Unfortunately, some of them still stuck with their teenager figure to which, they’re still looked boyish; and maybe a lil’ fat that before.

          Now back to this old friendship again, the one that gone away. The one that I abandoned before; things never been a healthy friendship since we both being friends, but unexpectedly we both can bond to each other. I never thought she will forgive me and never hates me before, because I think I really nailed her badly. She turns out to accept all the past; a past that never being healthy for both of us. I thought I took a good path before by bailing off; and I’m glad I did. I’m struggling to tell her that it was a very best for both of us because we tend to keep on hurting each other, but she knew better. I guess it’s time for a new beginning.

          Past are a past now. I can see both of us become matured by new experiences, meeting new people in our life, doing our life journey… something changed but stay in old similarity. Something still seems similar but different by matured.

         Bismillahi Rahmannir-rahim, may Allah bless this friendship and Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alamin, Allah let both of us communicate and meet each other again in a good way. Amen. 

Pregnancy Dilemma

It’s been a year and four month since I’ve been married with my beloved husband. I wasn’t ready to get pregnant at first till I realized last March 2013 that I have cyst problem. I went to a local clinic nearby and she gave me Evening Prime Rose Oil to make the ovarian cyst shrink. However it’s been a few months after that but the cyst still there. After a while, I changed my mind to get pregnant due to my increasing age, unfortunately I still couldn’t conceive because having this ovarian cyst. The generous female doctor then helped me to make an appointment at a better place to help me conceive and get rid of my 3-4cm cyst. After changing a few pregnancy planning pills to make my menstrual circulation goes normal and get rid of my cyst; and instead of my body weight become drastically fat, I get a good result about my cyst last March 2014. It shrunk and now I’m free of the cyst problem. I felt happy, joy and praise to Allah for helping me to get rid of my cyst problem. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alamin…

Now my problem is I need to get pregnant because I’m sick of reading friend’s status at facebook about their bump belly, their kids, theirs new born babies, and they even uploaded their new babies doing things they wondered and cheers about and more. I feel annoying with their better luck while I been hard to get anything I wanted. The doctor once told me to intercourse with the husband on my ovulation period based on my menstrual history and with a medication help, but until now it shows negative result. I bought lots of medication syrups for both of my husband and me, seeds-applicator lubricant and more but it tore me more because we didn’t really do the math as it suppose to be. My man always busy because of his career as a sport coach; Instead of watching over his athletes, he also do all the sports movements so it’s not like newlywed whom having sex like 3-4 times a day. Plus, with this kind of symptoms, I always out of mood of having it together.

Maybe Allah knows better, after have my menstrual period these coming future; doctor already advice me to make an appointment after my 8 days of having my period to inject me a hormone thing to give better percentage of conceive a pregnancy. Guess what, I wonder if that moment my romance between me and my husband will bloom. If me and my husband better with or without any kids, its Allah’s matter, that’s the reason why things happen today. May Allah help me and my husband in our journey of life, Amen.  

My New Blog!

Today I create this blog, editing and finding template for this blog. Changing the layout and finding good widgets to start on. I use almost 10 hours for this thing and yet, I haven't finish editing and managing my new blog. I want to make this blog as simple as possible so I don't have to re-edit the font types, colors for some words and more every time I posts new thing. Now is almost 7 p.m. I should make myself a dinner. Will continue editing and managing this blog. ...and whatever you see in here about the layouts and template designs will be the outcome after this hard work. I'm enjoying what I do right now. Peace!